Innocent stare

The most wonderful feeling is to see your baby smiling at you and making an angel out of you.

Suddenly...

A miracle came...my child, my miracle! The hardest thing I can ever be, a Mommy of this cute baby.

Changing Title

I am thinking to change this blog from everyday thinking to yearly thinking, considering I wrote my last blog last September 2013...well the kicks I received made me so busy thinking of all the pains and bruises...but I will try to catch up and live in the present...thinking strong and more positive now...I hope I still have someone to read my stories...promise to be back soon...

Go On

If God does not offer you sweetness, then you must still be content, patiently eating your bread, even if it is dry, doing your duty without any compensation, for the present. By doing this our love for God is selfless, and one loves and serves God in this way at one's own expense, a behavior that pertains to perfect souls. St. Padre Pio (Letters III, p. 288)

Just Pray

GOD showed me a rock and He told me to push  it as hard as I can.  I did it for many years, but nothing happened.  It didn't move even an  inch.

Then GOD said: Listen "Child, your task is only to push, not to move it."

GOD doesn't want us to suffer. HE just only wants us to follow and  P.U.S.H ! (Pray Until  Something Happens)

After The Heavy Rain

New sprouts...different sprouts...brought by heavy rain...Isn't it beautiful?

CONFUSED

I know I am not the only one...

Hate Spot

This BlogSpot is becoming may hate area...a place where I say my hatreds...controlling it means writing nothing...and seeing nothing in my BlogSpot... I admit I am in the lowest part of my life...Why? I lost my mother and still longing for her...I suddenly stopped crying due to unexpected pregnancy, took care of myself...and suddenly lost the baby in miscarriage... I believe I am going to be like a soldier...the more bruises I get the mightier I become...the braver I will be...I wanted to believe that...

Head Wave

JUST SAY NO!
On the way to airport my brother said " I just realized that looking to your left and to your right is what will make you physically fit.".. Stunned, I tried mimicking him, thinking how this action can make me thin...and then he said "Oh Dear..do that when somebody is asking if you want food..."

Well, nice try!


A hand kids past a misplaced believer.

Alone

I never really know the meaning of loneliness until this moment...I am praying...very  hard...real hard...Lord have mercy on me...

Until....
A hand kids past a misplaced believer.

A hand kids past a misplaced believer.

Trying to have it again...

God is my director! God Bless you more and more as you read my blogs!

A hand kids past a misplaced believer.

Wake up and Shine

Right after opening my eyes 'I was enveloped by this feeling. I wish to hear the usual steps to my room, the sound of movements outside my room...but there was none...only silence and will never hear another one...How 'I wish to have my usual mornings with my mother.

Wake up and shine...with my mother or with none, the sun will continue to shine...I have to continue living.

I pray for courage to accept the things that I
can not change.

A hand kids past a misplaced believer.

Facing Death

It was 3:00 am of May 30,2013 when from the comfort room my mommy called me...she couldn't get up from toilet bowl. She complained of stomach ache and I saw her hardship in breathing.I rushed her to the hospital and was admitted in intensive care unit at 6:30 in the morning. I left her for a while, knowing that everything was alright...BUT... at 7:30 a.m. I was called by the Hospital staff saying that she was found no heartbeat 10 minutes ago...and we lost her... my beloved mother!

Life is like a Rose...

I think life is like a rose...you will wait its full bloom , you will know the core...the inside of the flower...the best part of it....and yet from then on,seeing its beauty, enjoying yourself....a petal is slowly falling down...and no matter how much longer you want to hold on, it will have it's own sweet time... 

hi

God is my director! God Bless you more and more as you read my blogs!

A walk with God

Thank you God for the gift of life...I know you are with me...


Everyday is a chance to walk with you... Thank you for everything and  for giving me the right attitude in every situation...


You have a plan for me and thank you very much for humbling me... The honing is painful but i trust you oh God. 

bUSY ME

On Sunday I am going to enter graduate school. I am going to study Master’s in Public Administration.

 I promise to do very well and exert   all my efforts into self improvement. My strength is for development and not for my husband’s habit.

My stumbling blocks is going to be my stairs up…I will just step into it... I will be very busy to have time for crying…

God have mercy on me. 

Getting out of hand

Yesterday…

My husband fetched me in the grocery store…as I entered the car I knew he got alcohol effect…for the first time he admitted that he got too many.

 I  just stared in disappointment and inhaled without exhaling a thousand times…trying to control his  speed in driving… thank God we arrived safe at home after numerous lined up accidents. I just let him sleep and did the laundry, brushed and cleaned the bathroom… my tears fell in my cheeks while doing the errands… times that I wish to have a father to discipline my husband. I feel like in a dome with me, myself and I, no one really cares for my situation.

I exhausted myself and dozed to sleep…this is going to be a habit I guess.

Early this morning I learned that   in their drinking session yesterday he was attacked by his drinking mate with a bolo.  The commotion though was controlled by my cousins… His drinking habit is getting out of hand and he might lose his life in irrelevant manner.

 I plan to brush the floor  of our whole house after office. 

Off Beam

I hate occasions, special occasions because I know that I will have to deal with different person.

Yes my loving husband seems to turn into stranger every time alcohol is in him. Considering my phobia with drunken person aggravates the situation. I cry in silence and sometimes in hysteria.

Just last Sunday my neighbor’s child celebrated his 1^st birthday, a license to drink for my husband. I forced him to go home as I noticed his over drinking. He kept on talking about his money spending   in my advantage and it really hurt me. I cried all night and got swollen eyes and because of that I decided not to go to office because my appearance will only reveal my situation.

 It surprised him why I wasn’t able to go to office and asked why I cried. He just laughed and admitted that he got out of control. He then promised over again not to do it but still insisting that he is not doing wrong.

Once I confessed my problem with a friend, I am not really happy with his drinking habits and she took it as if nothing was really wrong. My husband remains calm and sleeps after the drinking spree…though he is a quiet drinker, he drives a vehicle and he had put my life and other’s lives into danger many times because of that. Days after over drinking he will surely have asthma attack, cough and high blood pressure and still he will insist that he is not off beam.  

Oh Lord has mercy on me!

White Lies

In my younger years  my teacher taught me that when a person  ask you “How are You?”, you will answer back “ I am fine, thank you!”. The teaching emanates in my personality.

Every time a person inquires how I am doing ’I graciously say “Oh no worries”.

At this moment I am answering in view of brightening somebody’s day… not to impart the misery I am going through…talking about white lies.

Choice

I am sad…yes I am….but I am right…yes I am… Is it just alright to be right and sad about it? Talking about life choices.

Flores the Mayo

Month of May is month of flowers. Roman catholic celebrates it with flower offering to the image of Virgin Mary and ended with a parade of beauties that signifies the queens and saints. The Santacruzan which signifies the search of Queen Elena for the cross of Jesus is the final event in month of Flowers...
This religious practice, as tourism booster campaign of the province was practiced in Provincial Capitol where I work. Though employees with different faith like me got exemption to participate, my seniors asked me to be well rounded...well rounded means  joining every activity of the institution where I belong...Disaster on my part...My unconventional faith almost affected my professional standing. Though I became very vocal with my own beliefs of not bowing down to any idols and my apprehensions of God's rage with pagan practices ' I met  them half way. I gave in and I joined the event but I did not compromise my religious preference. I was  there like a tourist covering the event and an employee that supportive to the Provincial Capitol.
With due respect the world will be brighter if we accept those who love violet and those that prefers yellow...

Love for Breakfast

Good Morning...It was just last Sunday when I woke up with ready breakfast...a tasty pig knuckles cooked with bamboo shoots, a not that easy recipe to cook especially in the morning... I appreciate my husband's effort to impress me...I also love the food that he cooked...Thank you my husband for this another way of saying I love you!

High School Reunion

What's good with High School reunion is that you got to see old friends and feel the warmth of their usual friendship. The interest on how your classmates did and who among the lovers end up together. What I love with  our latest get together is the laughter that we once again shared and no one asked about careers and success as a person...We just ate together, played games and shared contact numbers... We all had hell of fun... 

Natalia my mother

Every mothers day I post pictures of greetings for my mom and praises for being such a real epitome of  best mother...But I know she didn't know about that. I am the only source of her internet information and I intentionally not show it to her..Why? I myself can't answer why... 

Weight Success

2008 up to present weight monitoring...

               


                                                                                                                                 
              It is no secret, my weight management problem.By just merely drinking water I am gaining pounds... Once my Aunty asked me the reason of staying fat and the question strike me... Little by little I increased my physical activities, then I maintained a certain slimming coffee that greatly helped me in suppressing hunger. When I made the picture in here many got interested in my diet...30 kilos lost in 4 years...many are ordering my coffee now and they're getting the expected result as I did...

God's Art

The usual view in CALABARZON in my way home.

The view way home is always a treat. I love the cool fresh breeze of air and the relaxing scene of clouds...The sunset in the Philippines is something to watch for. I thank God for his own art...

sECRETLY tAKEN

My office mate  with reading glasses
and paired with magnifying lens in
reading text messages.

My seat mate in office, Ate Lyn hurriedly asked me to take pictures of our office mate Ate Zen...

We laughed in success that we caught her wearing eyeglasses and still with magnifying glass as reinforcement...We posted the pictures in face book as other ways of reading text messages...after a while she laughed...she actually browsed herself in facebook and saw the stolen pictures we posted...

Kat kat the Barbie Doll

This little girl or should I say young big girl Katkat got her bangs cut and with a pink backpack full with toys every time she visits me. She reminds me of Dora the explorer. To my surprise she exclaimed in disappointments when I called her Dora...she is a barbie she claimed...I secretly laughed and asked myself  ...how could a pink back pack, a round face with full bangs signify Barbie!..I just gave in to her.... 

cONGRATULATIONS TRISHA

The Proud God Mother...thatsssssssss me.... I want to shout to the world that Trisha won burger competition in New Zealand... 2 pointsbehind only from the National Champion and made her as first runner up... I am truly proud of Trisha for being a good cook... in her younger days in the Philippines we let her cook her own food but with our supervision...its astonishing that she even learned how to bake a tasty bread and got recipe that impressed other nationality... Trisha you brought honor to Filipinos as well...go home and I will have a marching band to salute you.....CONGRATULATIONS TRISHA!

True Colors!

I really appreciate this picture! this was taken at the wedding of my sister in law Sharon. What makes this picture special is the quarrel before this was taken. The alcohol issue that prior to this I asked my husband to bring a truck of beer instead of me as his wife....a picture paints a thousand words but not the real feelings...smile for a picture brings good memories....true memories I hope.

Bless my Dad's Soul!

This year, I missed my cousin Diamel. Being in Dubai she missed the Cemetery event, together the fun of looking up tall apartment kind of tombs.

The widows are always present, never fail to give flowers and candles to their late husbands...

I always present as ever....giving in to my mother's happiness and yearly tradition.

Last year our costume party was a success, no party this year, families who joined the party accounted their bad luck to the affair, not wanting to commemorate again the day of the dead...a western tradition that still taboo in our country.

Printed Job

It is so nice that in my work in Provincial Planning of Batangas Province, I got an opportunity to design and create an important manuscript that will be used by the whole Province. I will forever treasure and keep this important document in my heart. It is on the process of printing now and I am truly excited to have my own copy and show my friends and relatives how proud I am. For me, this one is already a remarkable achievement.

Thank You Lord for the Miracle!

The fence that prevented the car from continuous rolling.

Thank you Lord for the greatest miracle..... I was stunned when my mother told me that my beloved cousins met an accident in New Zealand. My Aunty Bambi and her 3 daughters, Chinnie, Trisha and Abby as the driver. They were cut by a fast car and as a new driver Abby instinctively stepped on the break and moved the wheel. The car hit the fence, the wood flew and land just in place of the wheel that prevented it from another rolling.

Jesus took the wheel for nobody was hurt, no scarce or muscle pain occurred.

God, thank you very much, I will not know what shall happen to me and my family if something bad happened to my God daughters, my much loved cousins and Aunty.

To you Castillo Family in New Zealand…please take a good care of yourselves for me, because I truly love all of you.

That incident made me appreciate the love of God more…a very good testimony of God's love to our family.

Sharon's Wedding

My sister in law finally tie the knot with her boyfriend Jong. As my wedding gift to them, I acted as the official photographer and shall create their wedding album...a new career for me...wedding photographer.

Work Issues!

I inquired to my Aunty Norma about the condition of my sick uncle through text message.

She replied with “ He is fine now and actually driving his jeep.” Relieved in hearing his fine condition, I informed mommy that my uncle is already healed and able to drive his jeep… what surprised me is the reaction of my mom.
Mommy: “Driving? Travelling? Why, where is he going?”
Me: “ Mom, but he is a driver, remember? He is working already!”

I once received a text inquiry, looking for my brother:
Texter: Hello, good morning, where is your brother?
Me: He is not here in the house, already in Hospital!
Texter: What ? in the Hospital? Why, is he sick, what happened to him?
Me: Hello…nothing to panic about… he is respiratory therapist and on duty
-----0-----

My officemate: Hey, where are you going?
Me: Well, I am on my way up!
My officemate: Wow congratulations, another promotion?
Me: No! Another transfer of location! From first floor to 2nd floor!

Text Away to Far Away!

Walking to her life long dreams, everybody bid her farewell with a smile!

Diamel, after passing series of Nurse's examinations and exerting so much effort in improving her qualifications and become more deserving in good paying job, now strong enough to fly to Dubai. Being my constant companion, I can be a good testimony to her hardships and her grip to lifelong dreams.
Now in her walk to her lifelong dreams, we wish her good fortune and God’s grace.
Grab it Diamel! I am missing you at the same time smiling for you…not need to be emotional now , rather should be excited with your wonderful journey! I will continue to hitch with your van wagon, I hope you don’t mind!